V\H\S
Back up. Back up, back up.
Turn around, turn around.
Oh, yeah.
There they are.
Show her tits!
Ha ha ha! Whoo!
Stop!
Oh, sh*t! Run, run, run!
Go, go, go!
- It's cool, huh?
- Hell, yeah.
Yeah!
All right,
watch your head, dude.
It's all right.
I got it, I got it.
It's all right.
I'll just f***in' find
you a better camera.
That's not a better camera
than this camera.
Man, I'm gonna draw
two balls at once.
What tape are you filming on?
- Do what?
- What tape are you filming on?
What the f*** are you
talking about, dude?
Where'd you get the tape?
What's on the label?
I don't know.
It was in your room.
- But you don't know.
- Lights, lights, lights!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ow!
- Stop!
- Show her tits!
See? That is exactly
why I picked her.
She has great f***in' tits.
Oh, you just knew
'cause you're a boob psychic.
Yeah, well, we've
done this so many times.
Dude, we get $50 every time
we do one of these things.
I can get us more
than 50 bucks, man.
I mean, that's
not bad for this-
fifty dollars for
each time we do this.
Dude, tell him about
the deal that you got.
We hooked up with,
like, a reality porn place.
Have you actually got paid?
Has he said he'd
pay you, like, money?
Twenty-five,
thirty times, yeah.
I can get us more money
than that in one night.
How you gonna get
more money than that?
You can drop this f***in'
pawnshop sh*t right now,
if you want.
We need to do skirts.
Like, this coming summer.
Hey, shut the f*** up, man.
And run by and do- you
know, like, up-skirt stuff.
Shut the f*** up, dudes! We
can get more money than that!
What the hell, Gary?
God damn!
...get more than
that in one night!
Okay, go up left here and
head towards Ryback road.
Okay, here's the deal:
We've gotta break
into this house,
and all we have to do is
steal this one VHS tape.
Dude, let's use
that f***in' tape.
Why don't you use that tape?
Now, man, let's use the tape.
Yeah, we got
a tape right here.
Dude ain't gotta check it!
Anyways, the job pays,
so, like...
It could lead to more work.
Work?!
Anyway, he also said
he saw some of your stuff
online, so you have a fan.
How's that work, man?
We don't put our names
on any of this sh*t.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Hey, you got crumbs
in your beard.
Uh, yeah, sure.
No problem.
What's that?
- What are you talking about?
- Is that your camera?
- What camera? What are you talking about?
- What the f***?!
Hey, rock, hey, can you hold
my camera for a second?
Be careful.
Be careful, okay?
Dude, this n*gger's house
is a mansion.
He must be goddamn rich!
Hey. Hey.
Who stays here?
Some old guy.
Like, some old guy's
here right now?
Some old guy's here right now,
and he's f***ing sleeping,
so you've got to stay quiet.
Wait a minute. Wait, wait.
What if he wakes up?
Well, I'll f***ing take
care of that, I guess.
Yeah, I'll take care of that.
Just shut your
f***ing mouth, man.
You're not gonna do
anything about it.
Jesus.
Hey.
You two go upstairs, and we're
gonna look around down here.
F***in' go up there.
Shhh!
Shut the f*** up, dude.
Where the f*** is this tape?
Everything's pretty much
empty in here.
F***, what?!
What the f***-?
What the f***, dude?
Oh, sh*t!
- F***.
- He's dead, man.
- What?
- I figure he's dead.
No f***in' way.
Oh, man, he smells.
Gary!
What the f***?
Why are they yelling?
Shut the f*** up.
You keep telling me
to shut the f*** up, dude.
Look at all this.
Look at all this.
He's dead.
Don't touch the dude.
What did you f***in' do to him?
Hey, Gary, Gary.
They took care of it.
Who took care? F*** you!
Who took care of him?
- Shut the f*** up!
- There ain't no tape.
Gary, there ain't
no tape. Just take this.
Let's check all these.
I told them to keep looking.
Did you look in
the f***ing machines?
Hey, let's go-
hey, Gary.
Yeah?
Let's check out the basement.
Tryin' to find
the f***in' tape, dude.
Brad, Brad, Brad.
- What?
- Stay with me, man.
F***, no.
You stay in here.
Those tapes haven't
been checked, dude.
Hey, f*** you, man!
I'm not f***in'- whoa, sh*t.
Aw, f***! Stay in here and
check out those tapes, man!
Fine! Jesus!
F***!
Jesus.
Oh, f***.
Hello?
Is there something...?
Put 'em on,
put 'em on, put 'em on.
Come on.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, perfect fit!
Gimme!
Gimme one of these!
It's perfect!
In-I-I-ice!
What?
- That sh*t is so quad.
You can't even f***in' tell!
Oh, my God!
Look at him, huh?
Hey, dude, check it
out, check it out.
- You like these glasses, right?
- Yeah.
These are not just any
glasses, my friend.
They're dork glasses.
These are video glasses, b*tch!
There's a camera in that sh*t,
there's a f***in'
Mike in that sh*t.
Dude, look at 'em!
You can't see 'it!
It's awesome!
- Where can you get 'em?
- Internet, like...
Am I just, like, a spy now?
Yeah, superspy, man-
super ass- and-titty spy.
Yeah, tonight, I'm tellin' you.
I get it.
I know what you want to do.
Yeah, you do!
Oh, come on, turn
your f***ing dick on.
Turn it on, man!
Let's do this!
Come on!
- You're damn right!
- I'm not filming a porno.
Let's do this! Shut up!
We're doing this!
Come on, man!
How do I turn these off?
Controls are on the top.
Now, this
is for f***in' Clint,
for f***in' bein'
the f***in' man tonight.
Come on, let's do this!
Let's go, let's go!
Ohh, so wholesome!
Power up!
Check it out. Turn
your brights on, yo.
That's what we're doin'
to this girl, right there.
That girl that
you see right there,
we're gonna f***in'
talk to her tonight,
we're f***in' doin' this sh*t.
Ohh! F***in' thigh-high!
...no! If you're filming
right now, make sure-
I don't want to
run out the battery.
Roll on that ass.
Roll on that f***in' ass.
Like a cross between...
What? Speak up!
I can't-!
We gotta f***in'
get out of there.
Okay, okay.
Where we gonna go now?
Get your game face on.
You got it!
I'm on! I'm on.
It's on right now.
You're my boy. You got it.
Let's do this.
So, you're- when you're
having your country breakfast,
how many f***in' flapjacks
are you gonna put down?
I can do, like, five.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
- That's a good one!
- At the same time.
Talking about
flapjacks with a girl.
I could never do that.
How could you even film that?
You ready to shoot
Irish sh*t? What?
Yeah, sure! Yeah!
All the time.
Hey. Two.
Two of your finest Irish sh*t.
Hey, there's two more.
- How 'bout-?
- Top-shelf Irish sh*t?
Four Irish sh*t.
Four of their
finest Irish-
this isn't enough.
What about your friends?
Yeah? Yeah!
Bring 'em over!
Go introduce me.
Okay.
Stay!
Okay.
Alex, do what she says, man.
Get your bread!
Get on it.
- What, man?
- Dude.
What?!
I- I have no idea
what you're saying.
Why are you all alone?
Thanks, man.
Hey, you want to go
meet some people over there?
I like you.
Well, I like you too.
So, do you ever come here...
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"V\H\S" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/v\h\s_22676>.
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